a week long absence and three pounds lost!

sunday night blues

buenos noches, everyone. i hope your past week and your weekend were splendid and your sunday night is not full of the depressing thoughts invading the last few hours of my weekend. there’s something about a sunday night, isn’t there? i know i’ve had this conversation with numerous people, but really. consider how you feel right now on a sunday night knowing monday is just around the corner. it’s sickening. after 8pm, all hope is lost and this sadness just sinks in. i live for the weekends. absolutely live for the weekends and special fun times with my friends.

i lost three pounds this week. i don’t know how i did it. it’s probably just my muscles dissolving from not using them to run or work out, but i’ll just pretend like it was three pounds of fat leaving my body. i also lost a half inch off of my hips. i’m honestly surprised because of my shitty, terrible eating habits this week. that, though, is coming later in the post!

i apologize for my absence the last week. i’ve actually been incredibly busy with school and with the production of the Vagina Monologues at my university. our shows were wednesday, thursday, and friday and we finished and had some fun. i already feel a little empty knowing we don’t have practice and i won’t get to see these people at least two times a week, but it’s nice to plan out my dinners and have some free time again. the experience itself was incredible and life changing and although i missed the gym for a little over a week, it was worth it to be so full of energy and ready to go every single night.

Kara & LeAnn

i don’t know how LeAnn will feel being broadcast in my blog, but she’ll have to deal with it just like the other people who will make appearances. haha. she looks good in this picture, so she should be okay with it! i do believe this was on the first night we went on and we were both nervous as fuck. but, we made it and we did really, really well! my stage makeup was, in my opinion, a little out of control. i’m just not used to wearing that much makeup. but, we had two amazing directors, two wonderful stage managers who were also our make up helpers, and it was a phenomenal feeling when i was on stage. it made me feel so much more empowered and proud to be a woman, not that i wasn’t before. but, it has also given me confidence about this whole weight loss adventure. regardless of how long it takes, i’m pretty damn beautiful. i just have to keep going, no matter how hard or frustrating it gets. i’m posting this picture because it’s a fuller body shot and i want these pictures to look at to keep me motivated. go kara!

the rest of the week, i’ve just been hanging out with friends; i have some of the coolest, most supportive friends on the face of the planet who inspire me to keep trying with their own adventures through their lives. i had so many people say so many good things about me and about the performance. it was really easy to stay positive this week, even without the gym in my life and although i did not necessarily stick to the healthiest of eating (i had thai curry TWICE this week!), i still felt good about myself because of my amazing friends!

so, here’s another picture of friends!

swagger
i have to be honest with you all, though, about my eating habits this week. i maintained a pretty respectable eating schedule/caloric intake on monday and tuesday, but on wednesday, when the show started, it just kinda……fell apart. JUDGE ME IF YOU WANT… and you probably will…. BUT IT HAPPENS.  wednesday afternoon, i had pineapple tofu curry from the local thai restaurant. it was the only thing i ate all day until after the show WHEN I FUCKING INHALED A VEGETARIAN F FROM CASA FIESTA WITH ABOUT A POUND OF CHIPS AND SALSA. the vegetarian F is a cheese enchilada, a bean burrito, and mexican rice. it’s all then covered in red sauce and more cheese. i felt like SHIT on thursday. i stayed thirsty all day, my stomach hurt, and i felt like i did with the burrito brick, except this wasn’t so much of a brick as it was a fucking atomic bomb in my intestines. thursday, i had my normal breakfast sandwich and for lunch i had a cup of broccoli cheddar soup and a cinnamon raisin bagel with low fat cream cheese. after the show, we went to the bar and i had one drink, a vodka and club soda, and for dinner i had grilled cheddar cheese on sourdough bread with thick pub fries and some fried pickles. it was delicious and I DID NOT CARE. well… i cared friday morning. friday, i had panang shrimp curry from the same local thai restaurant, some ice cream in a waffle cone and for dinner, after the show, i had some taco bell. we had our cast close out get together that night, so i danced a little bit which made me feel better…. UNTIL SATURDAY MORNING WHEN I HAD BREAKFAST BURRITOS FROM SONIC AND THEN JIMMY JOHNS ON SATURDAY NIGHT. DEAR GOD I ATE OUT SO MUCH THIS WEEKEND. today, i had taco bell again (DAMMIT) and for dinner, a breakfast sandwich. do i feel guilty? yes. is there anything i can do about it now? no. i can only move on and eat in as much as possible this week. the thing i feel most guilty about is wasting all of that money when i have so much food in my own apartment. oh well. i must move on.

i went to the grocery store tonight and picked up some awesome stuff for this week, including whole wheat flower and yeast. i plan on starting to bake and i love acquiring new staple items to create delicious things in my spare time! i wish i would have looked up some recipes earlier because i’m just missing a few things to make my own banana bread. i’m really excited about these new adventures! i also bought some Silk soy yogurt; i’ve had soy yogurt before, but i’ve never had soy yogurt. i’ll be sure to write about my feelings regarding Silk’s yogurt. i also purchased Greek yogurt tonight, too. i’ve heard so many good things about it and decided i wanted to try it. grocery shopping is incredibly fun for me. i love doing it. i would do it for you if you gave me a list and money. it’s literally one of my favorite activities. ever.

tomorrow, i’m going back to the gym. i’m going to return to an earlier week of my c25k program in order to warm my body and my muscles back up to running. being without it for a week (and smoking hookah and cigarettes this weekend) will do a number on my lung capacity and i don’t want to overexert myself this early in the week. i also plan on doing 40-50 minutes on the elliptical, some minutes on the bike, and possibly some strength training. i’m hoping it’ll be warmer for the rest of the week so i can start walking to campus. my parents are bringing me a bike, too, so i can ride my bike to campus when it finally gets warmer! i’m so excited about this potential for organic, outdoor exercise. hopefully, by the time it really warms up, i’ll start running and walking outside, too. i’m literally on edge waiting for these moments. i cannot wait to jog outdoors and be active outside with my puppy and my boyfriend.

have a great week and stay healthy, y’all!

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Kara

trying to get by in this wonderfully difficult world

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