taken from “Stuff White People Like” by Christian Lander
“White people will train for moths, telling everyone who will listen about how they get up early in the morning, how they run when it rains, how it makes them feel so great and gives them energy…Running for a certain length of time on a specific day is very important to a white person and should not be demeaned.”
on Saturday, March 12th, i ran my very first race of my entire life and it was amazing. i need to backtrack to the night before. i know i posted an update the night before my race, but it was before i went out and massacred myself in order to prove a point. you see, i almost bitched out hours before my very first race because i convinced myself i was not ready. although i had been running every day for almost 2 months by this point, i did not want to do it. i did not want to put myself in a position to fail because, if i had to stop running for any reason or did not finish in a certain amount of time, i would equate that with a failure. at one point on friday night, i had no less than four people counseling me, trying to convince me to not quit, telling me i was silly and that i was ready. but, as everyone knows, if you do not believe something personally, no amount of words from others can convince you otherwise. so, in order to prove my point, i mapped out my longest run ever and set out to kick ass and kick ass I DID. on friday night, i ran a 5k. it was cold outside. it was night time. and it was exhilarating. nothing can take that feeling away from me. nothing. i got back to my apartment, boyfriend hugged me and told me my jacket was wet. i took it off and lo and behold
i had those sweat patches i always wanted. believe it or not, this motivated me and gave me confidence. but, even though i ran a 5k on my own time, i still had a very public 3k to run (with some of my friends who are VERY IN SHAPE) the next morning. i was still nervous, but at least i was ready to do it.
saturday morning, boyfriend and i woke up, ate a little breakfast, and set out on the dusty trail to Lexington to get our race packets, warm up, and get into position for the race itself.
we got our packets and i was number 612. i pinned it on and it finally set in– i was running a fucking race for the first time in my entire life. surrounding me were people who had obviously been running races their entire lives and there were other people who looked just as nervous as me. little kids were scampering about with excitement and mothers and fathers strapped their children into their strollers and prepared to push their kids across the finish line (although some parents did not do well enough because apparently a toddler was ejected from its stroller right before the finish line). i think, though, i was most impressed by the woman who was pushing triplets in a race stroller.
it really was official. we had our shirts, our numbers, and we had met up with our friend, Micah, and my friends Matt and Jeff. we assumed our positions within the crowd, i readied my race playlist, and when i heard the sound of the horn which signaled the start of the race, i turned my heart rate watch on and lost myself in my zone. the first song i heard was “All I Do Is Win” by DJ Khaled and it carried me through the first part of the run, which was difficult because of the run i had put myself through the night before. i struggled to find a steady pace because honestly i was worried i would overexert myself and have to walk at some point in the middle of the race. the next song was Willow’s “Whip My Hair,” which pushed me to keep going, followed by GaGa’s “Born This Way.” i wanted to stop running; i wanted the race to be over and desperately, i checked my watch and i was around .9 of the way in. i had .9 to go and i was halfway through my race playlist. i only had six songs, and if i had gotten through all six, i was going to be very disappointed in myself. then, i realized exactly what i was doing and how far i’ve come in two and a half months and, i’m not gonna lie, i teared up and cried a little. i was very proud of myself. but, i toughened up as “Monster” by Kanye, Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj, Rick Ross, and Bon Iver graced my ears. i got faster, i ran harder and that speed was only intensified by Florence + the Machine’s “Dog Days Are Over.” i rounded onto main street– the last leg of the race. i saw the cluster of people at the very end of the street; i saw the irish flags marking the finish line and at that moment, “Eye of the Tiger” came on. this was it. i was at the very end and i looked up and heard and saw Andy, Tricia, Josh, Micah, Jeff, and Matt cheering for me at the finish line. my adrenaline surged and finished the race strong. i could have cried again, but i didn’t want to be a huge pansy at the end of my race
this probably isn’t visible, but i finished in 23:18, which is one of my best times ever. definitely proud. afterwards, i had the stereotypical post-race photo shoot
today, i had a weigh-in for the first time in a couple of weeks. although this was not the best time to weigh, ahem, because of certain issues, i decided to do it anyway. if i had lost weight, it would show up regardless of what hormones were running rampant through my body and GUESS FUCKING WHAT
238.4 ,<– WHAT?! mmm yes. i am in the 230s. thank god. i thought it would NEVER get here. i also took my measurements today and here is how i came in!
- Bust: 42 (-2)
- Chest: 40.5 (-1.5)
- Upper Waist: 38.5 (-2.5)
- Middle Waist: 45.5 (-2.5)
- Hips: 47 (-2)
- Thigh: 27.5 (-1.5)
- Calf: 18.5 (-)
- Bust: 41.5 (-.5)
- Chest: 39.5 (-1)
- Upper Waist: 38 (-.5)
- Middle Waist: 45 (-.5)
- Hips: 46 (-.5)
- Thigh: 27 (-.5)
- Calf: 18 (-.5)
total inches lost since march 2nd: 4! that brings my grand total to 16 inches lost of various areas of my body! it was a pretty good day for my self confidence and good affirmation that i’m doing the right thing because i am seeing results. even though they are coming slowly, this is a process. i am making these habits a part of my life. the slower, the better, because that means i’m still working for these goals. i never want to stop working for these goals. i am never going to stop succeeding. stay healthy, y’all.