mondays are, for the most part, incredibly lame. i am having a very, very lame monday. but, i have confidence my week will get better. i just need to make sure i keep taking care of myself, my foot, and my nutritional needs. weekends are so hard to stay on the wagon; i wish i could articulate just how hard it is for me. i spent a lot of time this weekend actually discussing nutrition with a couple of my friends and i realize it’s a slow process, but they have it so much more together than me. i know comparing myself to other people is a ridiculously bad choice for self-esteem and confidence, but it’s something i feel we as a society have been programmed to do– we compare ourselves mercilessly to other women, or to men and their progress, for that matter. i can’t help but feel a tad bit jealous when one of my friends accomplishes a great goal or feat of fitness. i just need to take that jealousy or frustration and use it to propel myself further into exercise rather than let it defeat me and eat my weight in french fries. i honestly think that may have happened this weekend. dammit. but tomorrow, i’m going to the gym and SWIMMING. yes, you read that correctly. i am swimming now and i absolutely fucking LOVE IT.
last week, i started going crazy from the lack of exercise i had been getting after spraining my foot. wednesday, after some nerves and calming myself down from the anxiety i felt about approaching a new, unfamiliar activity, i put my bathing suit on and trucked it to the pool. after asking the lifeguard, who was rather perplexed by someone asking him how to get into the pool (it’s complicated, whatever), i waited for a lane to open up and when one did, i seized my opportunity and jumped in! the first time i swam on wednesday, i didn’t keep track of how far or how much i swam; i know i was in the water for at least 30 minutes, and it felt so good to get my heart pumping. i love swimming and it will be something i continue to do, regardless of my sprain and when it heals. it’s a great crosstraining exercise because it forces you to use your entire body. my back muscles thanked me for the workout. thursday, i went to the gym and actually got on the elliptical! i did interval training for 33 minutes and did some strength training on my legs since they haven’t been getting as much of a workout as they did previously. friday morning, i went for the pool again and this time, i kept track of my laps/lengths. did you know a length in the pool is one time down and a lap is one time down and back? i did 46 lengths or 23 laps in a 25 yard pool; this ultimately means i swam .7 of a mile. hurray kara! i love swimming! this brings me to revealing a big secret/longing/next big training goal: next year, i am participating in a sprint triathlon, which is a combination of .4 miles of swimming, 3.1 miles of running, and 12.4 miles of biking. honestly, if i got my ass in gear and trained hard over the summer, i may try to do one in september. we’ll see. it’s been a life-long dream to be a triathlete– i want it.
and then i blew it this weekend. whatever. don’t want to talk about it. it’s hard. i hate the weekends because they ruin my productivity and my life whatever damn ugh fuck. i need accountability and this just isn’t doing it. help? i know i need help; i have a hard time accepting help. i feel like help is critical sometimes, you know? but in order to succeed, i need to be kept accountable for my actions, even on the weekends. just because it is a weekend does not give me an excuse to eat like a slob. it does not it does not it does not. damn.
in the food area, i only stepped outside the box once this week when it came to culinary creations.
homemade falafel on top of a flatbread with spinach, low fat feta, and some trader joe’s tzatziki (which i love more than anything, really); on the side, we had some cous-cous. it was actually pretty good, although i’m not quite sure if i really like falafel. i really enjoyed the flatbread. and tzatziki. and feta. and spinach. yum. boyfriend made stuffed peppers on thursday night and i gorged myself on how delicious they were; for the side, then, we had a salad with some low fat raspberry vinaigrette, some strawberries, and a sprinkling of feta cheese. we have a thing for feta cheese, obviously. i really cannot wait for school to be over so i can cook all the time and not have this shitstorm of a schedule i have right now. i really do enjoy cooking but i never have time to do it because i have classes at night on monday and tuesday and i like going to yoga on thursday nights so i try not to eat heavily then. lame. but i will get to it. i will cook more and it will be delicious. there are so many recipes i would love to try in the near future and i will keep you all posted!
as for now, i’m recovering from my foot and my super lax weekend of pretending my metabolism is glorious. i can’t eat anything i want. i know that. but sometimes, i like to pretend. carver gets a crazy eye when i pretend too much, though
i am capable of changing my entire future– i just need to settle down and get my goals and priorities back in order. i will do that. my body can’t afford another drastic weight gain and neither can my mind. stay healthy, y’all.