happy autumnal equinox, everyone! today is the first day of the autumn season. it is the season of apple picking, pumpkin patching, corn mazes, haunted houses, crisp leaves, pumpkin pie, and all other wonderful things of fall. i love the fall season. in fact, i am going to go out on a limb and say it is probably my favorite season just because of all the festivals that happen throughout the next couple of months. it has been a great couple of weeks for me, friends, and now, more than ever, i am feeling the effects of positive life changes. my happiness is incredible and this inner peace i have been working toward seems more than attainable– at this point, it feels like my destiny. i know it sounds really cheesy and corny, but part of my life change was changing my attitude; my negativity is so unhealthy sometimes, especially my negativity toward myself. one of my goals is to change that and become more self-loving instead of self-hating.
last weekend, i ran my very first 5K ever! i knew going into the race that i could run 3 miles– i have been running 3.5-4 miles every other day and even though i knew i was capable of such a thing, i was still incredibly nervous. i woke up on Saturday morning at 6am to get my clothes on and make a little breakfast to fuel me through the 3.1 miles. taking my friend Katie’s advice, i took a tablespoon of greek yogurt with a teaspoon of peanut butter and mixed them. i then dipped a banana in that for a great snack, which is only 1 point! i get to Katie’s house, we take a picture
we were ready to get our run on. we get to Berea, get checked in, and then we started running! Katie ran with me for the first 1.5 miles; i kept a really good pace and my legs felt strong and capable. she eventually left me to catch up with Leslie, and i just bebopped along, listening to my music, and taking in the beautiful scenery of downtown Berea. the only part of the course that i really struggled through was this hill toward the end of the route. but, i trucked up the hill. then, i hit the wall at the very end. i only had .2 of a mile before i was done and i just booked it. Katie got behind me and kept pushing me to go faster until i crossed the finish line, which at that point seemed like it kept getting further away from me. finally, i crossed and thanked my lucky stars!
i tried to catch my breath and as my heart rate finally returned to normal, i realized what i had done and just could not stop smiling or crying. i was so emotional about my accomplishments and i know i have a right to be. a 5k is a really popular race to run, but in January, the idea of me even running longer than 60 seconds was so beyond me that when i think about how much i can run now, it brings tears to my eyes. i have accomplished so much in the past 9 months and i deserve to be proud of myself.
i went to yoga after the race and felt better about myself than i have in years.
this week, i weighed in and i lost another 1.2 pounds. so, since October of 2010, i have lost 25 pounds. shebang! i also am currently wearing a pair of jeans i have never worn out of my dwelling. ever. they have always been too tight and now, they fit perfectly. moments like this make me so excited about my journey and about the changes i am making.
my life has been changing in so many positive ways and some of these ways are more evident than others. last night, in order to celebrate the arrival of the autumnal equinox, the yoga studio (that i love and adore more than anything) hosted an event in the ravine at my university. we were to gather in the ravine and participate in 108 moon salutes. i had to go to class, but as soon as class was over, i ran to the ravine, threw my mat down, and got to participate in the last 35 salutes. as i went through the sequence over and over again, i could not help but smile. there were so many thursdays where i would leave my class and run straight to the bar, dealing with my stress and overwhelmed mind with beer and cigarettes. but slowly, and surely, i am altering my instinctual habits. i am still learning, and i am by no means done drinking, but it says a lot about who i am becoming that i was doing yoga at 9:30pm on a thursday night instead of getting shitfaced. this does not mean i am against getting shitfaced, because i did it last weekend; what it means is that my desires are changing and so are my priorities. i ran 4 miles yesterday and then had 30 minutes of yoga– i just did not feel like putting beer in my body was a logical next step. making better choices for my body’s needs is all i want.
that being said, i am 6 days without a cigarette– i don’t even desire one at this point. i am hesitant to say that i have fully quit, because i do not want to backtrack and let myself down, but i don’t even want one. at some point, i am going to be able to lock smoking in some sort of vault labeled “my past” and move away from it without feeling any tinge of regret. as KYM said last night, i am still in the honeymoon phase of this again– my resilience has been reignited and while i have confidence in myself, it is scary that there will be a time when i struggle to stay on track again.
that’s all i got. i hope everyone has great plans for the weekend. i myself am going to King’s Island! Go Cats! Go Mountaineers! stay healthy, y’all.