I’m Gonna Muster Every Ounce of Confidence I Have: Self-Love

i won this shirt!

as a preface, i want to say that if you can guess what song that is from, and i mean title and artist, i’ll give you some sort of present. that present may only be public recognition, but it’s something, right?

way back when, in the days when i first started C25k, i actually won this shirt from the developers of my iPhone app i used. i thought i would wear it today during my run to remind me of how far i have come, even if i am struggling right now. i will get back to where i was with enough determination and dedication. it is hard right now, but i have to remember how much easier it had become when i was running regularly. i need to accept that i have gained weight, i have lost muscle, and my endurance has somewhat diminished. but, if i keep moving forward and pushing myself in a positive direction, i will achieve what i have achieved before, which is to be healthy and capable.

i am actually pretty pleased with myself today. i did not want to run when i woke up this morning. my legs were sore and, as i have a job interview today, i just kind of wanted to lay around and prepare for that. instead, i put on my running shoes and clothes, stepped outside, and just started running. it was hard. i wanted to stop numerous times, trying to find good enough excuses for not reaching my 2 mile goal. but, because none of these excuses seemed viable enough, i kept going. before i knew it, i was done and back inside. that run took approximately 28 minutes out of my day. if i cannot find the time to devote at least 28 minutes to making myself feel better, there is something wrong with my list of priorities. 

i wanted to weigh myself at some point this week, but unfortunately, this is not the best week for me to weigh myself… if you catch what i’m saying here without me having to be over and explicitly graphic. regardless, i am feeling better and because i am trying to be physically active, my eating choices are also starting to change for the positive. this feels natural to me, like this is what i should be doing for myself. why isn’t this easier? oh yeah. because being lazy and eating quick food is easier than trying. 

anything worth doing is never easy. stay healthy, y’all. 


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trying to get by in this wonderfully difficult world

7 thoughts on “I’m Gonna Muster Every Ounce of Confidence I Have: Self-Love”

  1. Haha the minute I saw your title I was like: that’s from that song. Teddy Geiger-For You I Will. 🙂
    Good luck with the weight loss. Maybe we can motivate each other 🙂
    Love, Anne

  2. How did you start running? I keep telling myself I am too heavy, I am too out of shape, I am too [insert copout here]. Did you just start running (Forrest Gump style) one day and that was that?

    1. I started with the C25k program in January of 2011. It starts you jogging at 60 seconds and then walking for a minute and so on and so forth. That’s the only way I could have done it. When I started, I was 255-260, a heavy drinker, a heavy smoker, and I managed to pull through somehow. 🙂

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