this morning, for the first time in over 8 months, i ran 3.1 miles. i ran a 5k for the first time in over half a year. my hip flexors hurt, my neck is sore for some reason, but mother fucker, i feel fucking awesome. let me talk to you all about something: running is 90% mental for me. my body, because i know it is capable, can carry me for extended periods of time and long distances. it may be slow, but i can continue to do it. the problem is i have this voice in my head, which i assume is the ultimate manifestation of every negative thought i have about myself, that tells me i cannot do it; i am too fat again to run like i used to run. a voice that tells me my legs are not strong enough, my lungs are not willing, and that i can be satisfied with half a mile or a mile. the problem is i know i will not be satisfied with a half a mile. i am only satisfied when i have pushed myself beyond my comfort zone. running a mile is not out of my comfort zone, but running 3 miles currently is very beyond my comfort zone. around 2.1 miles, i started having a conversation with myself which, in short, i should stop at 2.3 miles because it’s easier and i haven’t ran more than that in quite some time. this voice is the problem. today, i had an active battle with this voice. i challenged the hatred i have for my body, the doubt i have in my own ability, and i came out successful. i am a successful motherfucker.
it may have had a great deal to do with the fact i was playing a zombie game while running that kept me motivated, but whatever works, right? for the record, “zombies, run!” is a pretty fascinating way to get through a running workout. each run is an individual mission and as you run, you pick up supplies and run from zombies; the missions can be 30 minutes or an hour. after the mission is over, it switches to radio mode so you can keep running and collecting supplies. in each mission, there is a story-telling session, and then it breaks into personal music, and then back to story telling. it kept my run fun, interesting, and i felt like i was accomplishing shit because i was bringing my fake digital supplies to these fake digital people who are constantly fighting off hoards of fake digital zombies. you can even hear them breathe through your headphones. there is also an interval option where swarms of zombies come after you and you have to run faster to stay away from them. i’m not ready for that kind of bullshit yet, but it will come in handy for speed workouts. i got it on sale through the app store, but it’s normally 7.99. pretty rad, y’all, especially if you sometimes get bored the way i do. check it out. this was the first time i’ve used it, so it’ll be interesting to see how the story progresses.
i’ve been having problems trying to get my alumni membership sorted out through EKU’s gym. they let me in for free today after i explained to them what was going on and they were super friendly. i’ll be back tuesday to get registered FOREAL and then take the hot yoga class that night. i’m also talking about running races with my sister, who, if you don’t know, is pretty fucking amazing.
the only problem i am really facing now is paying for the races i want to run this year. the first race is “Color Me Rad” in March, then the 7 mile rookie “Run the Bluegrass” and ultimately, the “Flying Pig” half in May. it’s almost 200$ in races and while i have no problem paying for awesome races like the aforementioned races, i cannot actually afford that kind of money all at once. if anyone has any suggestions, please let me know.
i ran 3.15 miles today. i stepped foot into a gym for the first time in months. i feel fucking radical. stay healthy, y’all.