my domesticity cannot be questioned: the bread, peppers, and hummus edition

nice shower after a long day!

good evening, everyone!!! this is actually a pretty not so great picture of me, but not every picture can be perfect. i just got out of the shower after one of the most productive days of my entire LIFE. and WASN’T IT BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE? at one point, my car said it was 62 degrees outside and it may have even been warmer than that. i know the sun instantly cheers me up and puts me in a better place. it also, obviously, fills me with this foreign feeling called “positivity.” not quite sure how i feel about being so happy, but maybe it’s a necessary change.

throughout last week, i had been exploring different recipes to try out, but i needed last minute things. this morning, puppy woke me up around 7:30 and boyfriend was getting up to go teach, so i ended up getting out of bed anyway. i went to the store and got EVERYTHING i need, although i had to venture to two different stores because Kroger doesn’t carry tahini, which is necessary for hummus!

i came home, put shit away, and got ready to bake and cook my ass off. i started with the hummus, because that seemed like the easiest thing out of the items i had doomed myself to make. it was my first experience with my food processor and after the hummus, i think we may become good friends, even though it is obnoxiously loud and kind of unnerves me with its sharp spinny blade, although i did discover the processor i bought has a dough blade and a fucking JUICER! so if i get the wild hair up my ass, i can make and juice my own lemonade, grapefruit juice, orange juice! my options are seriously limitless. the hummus came out wonderfully, although i was skeptical at first:

muthafuckin hummus!!!!

deliciousness. so, for lunch, i made gardein chick’n strips, slathered some hummus on a whole wheat tortilla, and added green peppers, onions, spinach, and non-dairy cheese with a side of blackberries and strawberries. 🙂 it was also delicious and super filling.

muthafuckin luuunch!

deliciousness and healthyness! this lunch topped out at around 400ish calories and 10 grams of fat. i’m proud of myself because 90% of this meal was natural and full of fruits and vegetables instead of pumped full of preservatives and all that other shit that makes food taste good. fortunately, this was still really good and kept me moving through my afternoon, which was a good thing as i had to tackle… DUN DUN DUN STUFFED BELL PEPPERS!!!

my kitchen!!!

at one point, this was my kitchen as i was preparing to stuff those peppers you see. thanks again to micah for this recipe because it ended up being fabulous! the recipe is simply some cooked brown rice (because of a micah suggestion, i got the instant rice which cooks in 10 minutes), a can of chili beans, and some cheese (i used vegan cheese). you mix it all together and spoon it into the peppas. you cook them in a crockpot for 6 hours or so on top of a layer of stewed tomatoes. i put those together around noon and let them settle

PEPPAS IN DA CROCKPOT

woo hoo! i used a yellow, two green, an orange, and a red pepper. i have a thing for peppers. i have a thing especially for big peppers (INSERT OBLIGATORY SEXUAL JOKE HERE). while those sat, i psyched myself up for the biggest challenge yet: HOMEMADE BREAD. after reading some recipes and finding one which suited me and my time frame, i settled on a vegan recipe. instead of using oil, i substituted applesauce and instead of soy milk, i used almond milk. i got a a little nervous during the second part of the process, but it turned out well. i split the dough into two loaves and placed them in their respective pans:

risin' dough, yo

then it was just a waiting game for around 40 minutes while they baked. i resisted the urge to keep checking on them and then, finally, i brought them out of the oven and LO AND FUCKING BEHOLD I HAD MADE BREAD. REAL BREAD.

MUTHAFUCKIN BREAD LOAF!!!!

and i had made two of them. to my happy surprise, it was actually really good and i’m anxious to get some bread knives and slice it thin enough to make sandwich bread out of it. my next step is pizza dough. i’m really, really proud of myself for the bread.

for all of the positive events in my kitchen today, there were some mishaps. these mishaps come in the form of botched cinnamon apple crisps. i missed the instruction on the recipe where it said to bake them for 3-4 hours… i let them cook for 20 minutes. so, i had soggy, yet kind of tasty, pieces of apple covered in cinnamon and cane sugar. i ate some of them, but the rest are just kind of hanging out in the kitchen

BOTCHED APPLE CRIIIISPS

oh well. win some, lose some. because of this mishap, though, i want a dehydrator! i think it would be an awesome addition to my kitchen, but i won’t buy one right now. i just got mr. food processor and we need to hang out for awhile before i go cheat on him with a new appliance.

after baking and cooking up a storm, i went to campus and did week 3 day 2 of c25k. 90 seconds of running then 90 seconds of walking then 3 minutes of running then 3 minutes of walking. two reps of this and honestly, i thought i would handle it better than i did today. i blame it on how hot it was at the campus gym today. the warm weather combined with still winterized buildings do not make for a great experience, although my clothes were soaked with sweat and when that happens, i feel the most accomplished. i’m not going to lie, the last 3 minute run was rough. i actually decreased my speed in order to make it through it and while i’m not proud of that, i am proud of the fact that i made it through the entire three minutes without walking. it was an accomplishment. after that, i engaged in some ass and titty shaking at Zumba on campus. it was the first time i had been to the campus gym for Zumba and i was pleasantly surprised, although it was pretty packed. i prefer the other gyms i’ve been to, but i will go back to EKU’s Zumba if i can find the time. finally, i ended my workout session with some yogilates, which is a combination of pilates and yoga. i actually sweat because i am not as flexible as i should be, but i felt good.

i came home to my house smelling WONDERFULLY of cooked peppers and boyfriend and i got down to dinner as soon as i walked in the door.

DINNERRRRR

that’s a green bell pepper stuffed with brown rice, chili beans, vegan cheese and topped with a little more vegan cheese and some Newman’s Black Bean & Corn salsa. DELICIOUS.

that’s been my day. it’s been productive, full of happiness, and success. i’m settling down with a cup full of strawberry pomegranate tea and i’m so damn proud of what i’ve accomplished. this weekend, i’m going to get my bike from my parents and i’m going to start biking to school. i’m also really excited about possibly starting to run outside soon. one step at a time.

i hope you all have enjoyed your beautiful days. stay healthy, y’all.

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back into the gym and recipe explorations!

V-Day!

afternoon, everyone! if you celebrate Valentine’s Day with your honey, then happy Valentine’s Day! if you prefer to ignore February 14th with every fiber of your being, then happy February 14th! i hope your monday is treating you well. it’s been a pretty splendid day for me so far because i kicked off my morning with a delicious breakfast & snack and with 65 minutes of cardio!

i got a call today from the Central Baptist Hospital Nutrition Counseling center today. apparently, my referral finally went through so i need to call them back and schedule an appointment. hopefully, a nutritionist will shed light on a good meal plan for me and maybe tailor one to my goals throughout this process. i’ll be updating again with this information as it becomes available to me. i hope it’s not too fucking expensive.

i woke up around 7:15am and desperately wanted to go back to sleep. i don’t actually have to be on campus until 11am, so there was a possibility for another 2 hours of sleep and believe me, i was tempted. then, i remembered i had updated this blog last night with plans for my exercise today. i hated it and honestly, had i not written about my exercise plans for today, i would have gone back to bed. this reinforces the necessity of this blog. knowing i will have to be honest and type out my failures will hopefully keep me from committing a lot of them. most of the time, my biggest flaw is my inability to stay committed to the gym. but, as i saw today, all i needed was a little motivation to get me going. begrudgingly, i got out of my comfy bed (it’s always the comfiest when you’re planning on going to the gym), put my reebok runtones on, and went to the gym. it took me a little while to get comfortable in my skin again. it’s amazing how one week outside of a routine can mess with your psychological feelings regarding a specific place. honestly, i was terrified of the treadmill this morning and instead of doing it first, like i always do, i opted for the elliptical first (just in case i decided to bail on running, which i almost did). i spent 35 minutes on the elliptical this morning, burning around 400 calories. nervously, i approached the treadmill, collected my feelings, and started walking at a 3.7 brisk pace alternating between this speed and jogging at a speed of 5.1-5.4. instead of trying to pick up where i left off, i did a previous day of c25k to warm my body back up to running. i ran 2 miles in 27:55, which is 15 seconds less than last time i ran; additionally, i ran a 3k in 26ish minutes, which made me feel awesome. i considered getting on the bike or getting some strength training in, but instead, because i was running short on time, i went home so i could eat breakfast, hang out with my puppy, and shower.

i ate my first package of Silk soy yogurt this morning in the strawberry flavor. it was actually really good, and although it wasn’t vegan, my stomach didn’t reject it the way it normally rejects dairy yogurt. i also ate a nice banana and before the gym, i toasted a piece of Arnold’s Dutch Country Bread and put a tablespoon of Jif with honey on it to give me a small boost of energy for the gym. instead of taking my car to work, i walked the 15 minutes to campus; currently, i’ve done 80 minutes of cardio today and i feel absolutely awesome. my plans for the rest of the week are as follows: tomorrow, i plan on using the elliptical for 30-40 minutes, the bike for 20-30 minutes, and some strength training. i’m really slacking on weights and i think that’s one of the reasons why i’m not seeing as many results. on wednesday, i’m going to attempt to fall back in line with c25k in week three day 2. at 4pm on wednesday, i’m signed up for zumba and then a yogilates class at 5. on thursday, i have to make up hours for work, so i’ll be at work from 8-4pm. my class is canceled, so i’m going to do a cycling class followed by a round of toasty yoga. it’ll be an ass kicker of a week, but i need it and crave it after a week of a sedentary lifestyle.

i’ve been looking at heart monitors with foot pods today. a foot pod, or an accelerometer, tracks the pace and mileage of your run. i would love to keep track of my heart rate, the average heart rate, and accurate distance once i start running outside and on the track as my GPS on my phone is incredibly unreliable. they are rather expensive, but if they’re going to last me a couple of years, i won’t mind paying it. i really am digging some nifty new toys. can you tell?

my friend micah also sent me a recipe for stuffed bell peppers in a crock pot, which i plan on making on wednesday. i love bell peppers and stuffing them with rice, vegan cheese, and other vegetables sounds absolutely delicious! and, they’ll be cooking in a crock pot so i can go out, go to the gym, and run my errands while my dinner is cooking! crock pots are the absolute best. this discussion about this recipe, though, got me jonesin’ for more kitchen equipment. right now, my eye is on a relatively expensive food processor. the way i can justify this expense, though, is i will no longer have to buy peanut butter because i can make my own! many recipes i’ve been considering call for a food processor and i have a feeling i cannot cook the way i wish to eat with out a few more gadgets. i’ve also been looking for a sushi rolling mat as the boyfriend and i are going to attempt to make our own cooked sushi. i have so many ideas!

i’m not quite sure what’s on the menu for dinner, but i’m sure i’ll mention it in a later post. i hope your valentine’s day/single awareness day/february 14th day is going well. stay healthy, y’all.

PS: one of my greatest motivators, the Bonnaroo music festival, is releasing their artist lineup tomorrow at noon. can anyone say FUCKING EXCITED?!

a week long absence and three pounds lost!

sunday night blues

buenos noches, everyone. i hope your past week and your weekend were splendid and your sunday night is not full of the depressing thoughts invading the last few hours of my weekend. there’s something about a sunday night, isn’t there? i know i’ve had this conversation with numerous people, but really. consider how you feel right now on a sunday night knowing monday is just around the corner. it’s sickening. after 8pm, all hope is lost and this sadness just sinks in. i live for the weekends. absolutely live for the weekends and special fun times with my friends.

i lost three pounds this week. i don’t know how i did it. it’s probably just my muscles dissolving from not using them to run or work out, but i’ll just pretend like it was three pounds of fat leaving my body. i also lost a half inch off of my hips. i’m honestly surprised because of my shitty, terrible eating habits this week. that, though, is coming later in the post!

i apologize for my absence the last week. i’ve actually been incredibly busy with school and with the production of the Vagina Monologues at my university. our shows were wednesday, thursday, and friday and we finished and had some fun. i already feel a little empty knowing we don’t have practice and i won’t get to see these people at least two times a week, but it’s nice to plan out my dinners and have some free time again. the experience itself was incredible and life changing and although i missed the gym for a little over a week, it was worth it to be so full of energy and ready to go every single night.

Kara & LeAnn

i don’t know how LeAnn will feel being broadcast in my blog, but she’ll have to deal with it just like the other people who will make appearances. haha. she looks good in this picture, so she should be okay with it! i do believe this was on the first night we went on and we were both nervous as fuck. but, we made it and we did really, really well! my stage makeup was, in my opinion, a little out of control. i’m just not used to wearing that much makeup. but, we had two amazing directors, two wonderful stage managers who were also our make up helpers, and it was a phenomenal feeling when i was on stage. it made me feel so much more empowered and proud to be a woman, not that i wasn’t before. but, it has also given me confidence about this whole weight loss adventure. regardless of how long it takes, i’m pretty damn beautiful. i just have to keep going, no matter how hard or frustrating it gets. i’m posting this picture because it’s a fuller body shot and i want these pictures to look at to keep me motivated. go kara!

the rest of the week, i’ve just been hanging out with friends; i have some of the coolest, most supportive friends on the face of the planet who inspire me to keep trying with their own adventures through their lives. i had so many people say so many good things about me and about the performance. it was really easy to stay positive this week, even without the gym in my life and although i did not necessarily stick to the healthiest of eating (i had thai curry TWICE this week!), i still felt good about myself because of my amazing friends!

so, here’s another picture of friends!

swagger
i have to be honest with you all, though, about my eating habits this week. i maintained a pretty respectable eating schedule/caloric intake on monday and tuesday, but on wednesday, when the show started, it just kinda……fell apart. JUDGE ME IF YOU WANT… and you probably will…. BUT IT HAPPENS.  wednesday afternoon, i had pineapple tofu curry from the local thai restaurant. it was the only thing i ate all day until after the show WHEN I FUCKING INHALED A VEGETARIAN F FROM CASA FIESTA WITH ABOUT A POUND OF CHIPS AND SALSA. the vegetarian F is a cheese enchilada, a bean burrito, and mexican rice. it’s all then covered in red sauce and more cheese. i felt like SHIT on thursday. i stayed thirsty all day, my stomach hurt, and i felt like i did with the burrito brick, except this wasn’t so much of a brick as it was a fucking atomic bomb in my intestines. thursday, i had my normal breakfast sandwich and for lunch i had a cup of broccoli cheddar soup and a cinnamon raisin bagel with low fat cream cheese. after the show, we went to the bar and i had one drink, a vodka and club soda, and for dinner i had grilled cheddar cheese on sourdough bread with thick pub fries and some fried pickles. it was delicious and I DID NOT CARE. well… i cared friday morning. friday, i had panang shrimp curry from the same local thai restaurant, some ice cream in a waffle cone and for dinner, after the show, i had some taco bell. we had our cast close out get together that night, so i danced a little bit which made me feel better…. UNTIL SATURDAY MORNING WHEN I HAD BREAKFAST BURRITOS FROM SONIC AND THEN JIMMY JOHNS ON SATURDAY NIGHT. DEAR GOD I ATE OUT SO MUCH THIS WEEKEND. today, i had taco bell again (DAMMIT) and for dinner, a breakfast sandwich. do i feel guilty? yes. is there anything i can do about it now? no. i can only move on and eat in as much as possible this week. the thing i feel most guilty about is wasting all of that money when i have so much food in my own apartment. oh well. i must move on.

i went to the grocery store tonight and picked up some awesome stuff for this week, including whole wheat flower and yeast. i plan on starting to bake and i love acquiring new staple items to create delicious things in my spare time! i wish i would have looked up some recipes earlier because i’m just missing a few things to make my own banana bread. i’m really excited about these new adventures! i also bought some Silk soy yogurt; i’ve had soy yogurt before, but i’ve never had soy yogurt. i’ll be sure to write about my feelings regarding Silk’s yogurt. i also purchased Greek yogurt tonight, too. i’ve heard so many good things about it and decided i wanted to try it. grocery shopping is incredibly fun for me. i love doing it. i would do it for you if you gave me a list and money. it’s literally one of my favorite activities. ever.

tomorrow, i’m going back to the gym. i’m going to return to an earlier week of my c25k program in order to warm my body and my muscles back up to running. being without it for a week (and smoking hookah and cigarettes this weekend) will do a number on my lung capacity and i don’t want to overexert myself this early in the week. i also plan on doing 40-50 minutes on the elliptical, some minutes on the bike, and possibly some strength training. i’m hoping it’ll be warmer for the rest of the week so i can start walking to campus. my parents are bringing me a bike, too, so i can ride my bike to campus when it finally gets warmer! i’m so excited about this potential for organic, outdoor exercise. hopefully, by the time it really warms up, i’ll start running and walking outside, too. i’m literally on edge waiting for these moments. i cannot wait to jog outdoors and be active outside with my puppy and my boyfriend.

have a great week and stay healthy, y’all!

snow makes me want to hibernate and eat bad, terrible, fattening mexican food

work face

happy tuesday, everyone. it’s snowing in good ol’ Kentucky, or has snowed, and the ground is littered with the remnants of EKU’s prayers for a cancellation. i don’t know why i always get my hopes up– it never happens. and, when i eventually get into the real world, i won’t have snow days. everyone should get a snow day. i know that the cancellation of everyone’s jobs and activities would probably lead to the complete breakdown of society for a day and people would lose their shit, but i think the world would be a happier place if everyone just got an unexpected break from life sometimes. everyone struggles to make it through their days– not just students. oh. it’s snowing again. joy. in the picture above, i’m reppin’ one of my favorite local bands: Reverend John and the Backsliders. they’re amazing and fun and make my night at the Paddy Wagon 100% more enjoyable…although i always love the Paddy Wagon.

the past couple of days have been full of failure for me; this is not failure in the food sense, but failure in my inability to get out and go to the gym when it’s cold and gross outside. i neglected the gym both yesterday and today in favor of just showering and coming to campus. snow makes everything so difficult. but, this feeling in my legs is good– i feel energy and power in my calves and i miss running. so, i may go tonight after i get out of class just to get it out of my system. it may not be the full C25k day i had planned for today, but i may just do a mile and a half walk/run to feel like i exerted some of this pent up energy.

sunday, i had a pretty amazing work out. i did week three day two of C25k and ended up completing a 3k (1.8 miles) in 26 minutes; i went on to finish 2 miles in 28:10, which is another 50 seconds off of my previous 2 mile time. i am happy each day i show improvement. i know i was pushing myself pretty hard on Sunday, so if i’m a little off from those times this week, i shouldn’t be disappointed in myself. after 30 minutes on the treadmill at an average of 14 minutes/mile, i hopped on the elliptical for another 30 minutes to finish off a cardio-rich session. afterwards, i went into a cardio coma and needed carbs to perk myself back up.

sunday night, i made a homemade pizza and although i’m pretty sure there was milk in the crust, the rest of the pizza was vegan-friendly. green and orange peppers, onions and shredded vegan cheddar cheese with extra extra pizza sauce. for the side, i made chickenless buffalo wings and the meal was delicious. it was so good and colorful, i took a picture!

pizzza!!!

i found out yesterday that my baby puppy Carver has two massive ear infections; i did not know you were supposed to clean the floppy ears of puppies once or twice a week to prevent dirt build up. fortunately, we took him to the vet and he feels better. he has to take a pill and has to have liquid meds put in his ear, but he should be better in a few days. he’s already improving and sleeping better through the night, which he wasn’t doing before. happy puppy means happy me. if i’m happy, i stay motivated and positive, which is what i need to succeed! man. real corny. but he’s adorable and i’m so glad he’s better!

sweet puppy carver

stay healthy, y’all.

 

another weekend: a recap, measurements, and more!

it’s hard to believe it’s already sunday morning. the last thing i want to think about is going back to school and entering a routine again. i enjoy, way too much i might add, the freedom the weekends provide me with, which leads me to hate the strict routine i’ve placed on myself throughout the week. but, it must be done and for the next 12 weeks or so, i have no choice but to submit to “the man,” and by the man i mean my MA program.

this weekend, i monitored myself more efficiently than i have in weekends past. i evaluated the drink situation and did the best that i could for the situations i’ve been in…but i still fucked up. in this case, fucked up is code for casa and taco bell. this brings me to picture one of this post:

Drunk & Arrogant

before you ask, that is a cigarette in my hand. i’m cool, i know. trust me, the reason this picture is up is because i’m mocking myself for my drunken attempt to seem more interesting and glamorous than i really am. i am drunk and arrogant. instead of drinking beer on friday night, i decided to move toward liquor. i had two double vodka club sodas and then maybe another single one…? which adds up to 5 or 6 shots of vodka, depending on how generous my bartenders were, which totals to around 485-500 calories? awesome. so, when i am drunk and arrogant, i crave taco bell. on friday night, instead of going home, drinking a bunch of water and putting my ass to sleep, i ate a heaping helping of fucking taco bell. SERIOUSLY? after the qdoba burrito brick, you would think i may have learned my lesson about consuming synthetic mexican foods late in the evening…but not this bitch. nope, not me. i ate all of it. rightfully so, i felt like shit the next morning. good. i hope i learned my lesson this time.

saturday, i spent the majority of the day lazing around, watching the office. boyfriend and i cooked vegetarian corndogs and french fries for lunch along with a fresh granny smith apple. for a snack, i had an apple cinnamon rice cake with honey peanut butter, and for dinner, we made tuna melts, broccoli rice, and a spinach pear strawberry feta salad with raspberry vinaigrette. eating in is so much cheaper and more wonderful. i get to control how many toppings/how much is on everything i’m eating. more control makes kara happier. before dinner, i decided i needed to get my ass into the gym because of the vodka and taco bell overdose the previous evening, but prior to actually making it to the gym i did the most dreadful thing a person can do when trying to summon the motivation to work up a sweat: I LAID DOWN IN MY FUCKING BED. i posted a facebook status about trying to find my motivation and thankfully, i have amazing friends who are incredibly supportive. their messages really got me motivated so i took this picture to prove i made it:

ELLIPTICAL TRAINING MACHINE, MAYNE.

spent 30 minutes on this bad boy with a resistance ranging from the 8 you see in the picture to a 13. cranked out 300ish calories and ended up completing 2.2 miles. i didn’t have much time; i needed to shower and get my shit together to watch my Kentucky Wildcats….lose again. i don’t want to talk about it. in the course of watching the game, i had 3 single stoli razz & club sodas with lime and a purple hooter shooter. the rest of the night, i drank water in dire hopes of flushing my system out. all in all, this weekend, i had around 10 shots of vodka and a weird ass shot. not terrible, but it’s definitely not the best i could do.

this morning, i got up to weigh myself and take measurements for the first time in two weeks. the weight results were…sub par, but i’ll live. the progress i made in inches is awesome progress and if i let myself be defeated now by a number on a scale, which doesn’t measure my growing muscle mass, i’ll never reach any of my goals. so. here goes.

Starting Measurements on January 2nd, 2011

  • Weight: 249.2
  • Bust: 44
  • Chest: 42
  • Upper Waist: 41
  • Natural Waist: 48
  • Hips: 49.5
  • Thigh: 29
  • Calf: 19

Measurements & Weight for 2/6 (February 6, 2011)

  • Weight: 247.2
  • Bust: 43
  • Chest: 41
  • Upper Waist: 39.5
  • Natural Waist: 46.5
  • Hips: 48.5
  • Thigh: 28
  • Calf: 18

thus far, i’ve had a weight loss of 2 pounds, an inch off the bust, an inch off the chest, 1.5 inches off my upper waist, 2.5 inches off of my natural waist, an inch off my hips, an inch off my thighs, and an inch off my calves for a total of 11 inches? rock on, kara. i leave you all with the recipe i used this morning for vegan almond french toast. 🙂

stay healthy, y’all.

Vegan Almond French Toast from Whole Foods

i defeated the burrito brick & sweated my balls off

 

post work out!

busted my ass today! ignore my slightly scary hitchhiker’s thumb.

good afternoon, everyone. i hope you guys had an exquisite thursday! today is friday and i am happy because: 1. i have no school or work on fridays and am free to spend my time as i wish. 2. i worked out for 2 hours and 45 minutes today and let me tell you, i loved every minute of it. 3. it’s the weekend!

this morning i got up with my dear friend Tricia and we went to zumba at a local gym. 8am came excruciatingly early, especially since my dog decided to take this morning off and not bark to wake me up. my bed was so comfortable and warm, but i got a call from Tricia asking me if i was awake and i got up, made myself a piece of toast with peanut butter, and walked my happy, albeit tired, ass out the door, heading to the richmond athletic club. the zumba class today was taught by someone i know, so i was super excited to get my sweat on and shake my ass. in case you’ve never done zumba, there’s a lot of ass and titty shaking. and i mean A LOT of ass and titty shaking…and i love shaking my girls and my booty. it’s actually kind of liberating. i only dance like that when i’m drunk or at a club, and to shake all my business and know i’m working toward a fitter me just makes the experience more exciting. plus, with every time i do it, i get that much better at shaking these here hips. halfway through the class, i decided i wasn’t done after zumba– it was time to conquer my fear: week 3 day 1 of C25k.

i went to EKU’s gym and spent some time on the elliptical, contemplating my future fate on the treadmill. i stared at all the treadmills, observing and inspecting each one of them as i plowed through 25 minutes on the elliptical with a resistance level of 8-10. i always like to do the first one or two days of the week on the treadmill and finish out the week on the track to learn how to set my own pace. i trucked through week 1 and week 2. week one was 60 seconds of running followed by 90 minutes of walking. week two was 90 seconds of running and two minutes of walking. week three is 90 seconds of running, 90 seconds of walking and THEN THREE WHOLE MINUTES OF RUNNING. CONSECUTIVELY. my fat girl heart was indeed scared i would not be able to fully get through two repetitions of three minutes, but i did it. the first three minutes was intense, but i got through it relatively easy. i could have kept going at the end of the section, but i decided to let myself have that three minutes of rest to naturally build up my endurance. the second round of three minutes, though, was a little more difficult. but, this time, i felt my endorphins start to release and i felt that feeling all runners talk about– running ceased to suck today. and i ended up completing two miles in 29 minutes, which means i shaved 30 seconds of each mile as i was only doing a mile in 15 minutes. seeing progress is definitely the biggest motivator in this situation. i can feel my body changing and i can feel my lungs get stronger with each day i accomplish. i feel very strong today. i did some light strength training and had a good stretch and came home.

the next goal on my list is to quit smoking. i know that’s a goal a lot of people have, but i can’t really expect myself to achieve all of the cardio-related goals i’ve set for myself if i’m taking two steps back by smoking cigs. trust me, i love smoking cigs, but i know it’s about that time. i need to start saving money. i need to start preserving my lung tissue. i need to keep contributing to my overall well-being. right now, i’m working on reducing it to when i drink (which i’ve actually limited as well). i think a maximum of two cigarettes a day is a a pretty good way to start and then i can slowly start removing those as well. i’m not necessarily a chain-smoker anymore, but i have been known to put a pack away without thinking about it. with my current weight, i need to let go of all the aspects of my life that are inhibiting me and smoking is one of them. it will be weird to consider myself a non-smoker… maybe i’ll use the term former smoker. that doesn’t sound so depressing.

today for lunch is vegan grilled cheese and vegetable soup.  happy friday, y’all, and stay healthy.

 

a rapid decline from cycling and yoga to inhaling a qdoba burrito: the challenges of sadness

this is my disgruntled face. you’ll find out why i’m disgruntled.

up until this point, i had a pretty successful week. i managed to make it to the gym three days in a row, run two of those days, and eat within my calorie range. at this moment, i am currently trying to transition from a pescetarian ( a fish-eating vegetarian) to a predominate vegan since i’m somewhat lactose intolerant. but sometimes… a giant fucking dairy hole opens up in my stomach and demands to be filled. these times most often occur in times of stress or upsetness. tonight was one of those nights, my friends.

i had actually registered for two fitness classes at my campus’ gym tonight: cycling and toasty yoga. cycling is always an ass kicker and i figured it would help me release the toxins of the day. it was to be followed by toasty yoga to help relieve the lactic acid build up in my muscles and to help me calm down. this was the plan until a fucking major galactic supernova event occurred and sent me into the downward spiral of upset. it wasn’t really that dramatic, but with the changes in my birth control this month, the fact i didn’t exercise today, and the stress of the week hitting me all at once i lost my shit and was inconsolable for a couple of hours, resorting to laying in my bed crying instead of sucking it up and going to the gym. i rejected the food my sweet, sweet boyfriend made and instead….

 

devil.

i ate a fucking burrito from qdoba complete with rice, black beans, faijita vegetables, cheese, sour cream, queso, and TWO KINDS of salsa. i ate every bit of it. EVERY. SINGLE. SOLITARY. BITE. and for awhile, i felt okay. now, i feel like shit for not exercising and for eating a synthetic food brick. and it really is a fucking brick, y’all. it’s sitting right in the bottom of my stomach, just waiting to wreak havoc on my intestines. i’m dumb, but, i am human. it was a stupid, lazy mistake to make, but at least there were no french fries or crispy fish sandwiches involved. i just have to get up, zumba tomorrow morning, and then hit another gym and run. i won’t consider it punishment as much as i will consider it making up for being lazy tonight. i’m too good at being lazy. on top of that, i really threw my attempt at eating little to no dairy out the window with the queso…and sour cream… and shredded cheese. i mean, fuckin’ really. who needs that much dairy in their burrito? i could have just calmed my shit down and ate at home. i really need to learn to check my emotions. they will be my downfall in this weight loss journey.

in case you haven’t figured it out yet, i love to eat. i turn to eating for so many different emotions and it’s honestly something about myself i desperately wish i could change and while i’m working on it, i know i’ll have to battle it for the rest of my life. tonight was a loss and food won, but tomorrow is another day. all i can do is put my heart into working out tomorrow and just hope for the best on Sunday for my weigh in.  one burrito can’t fuck me over too badly, right?

stay healthy, y’all.