Balance: The Art of Just Enough

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Happy Tuesday/Wednesday to my friends across the world. I think it’s pretty fuckin’ cool I can say that now with complete sincerity. I have friends from all over the world who are living all over the world. Anyway, it’s 11:27am on Wednesday morning for me, which makes it 10:27pm on Tuesday on the east coast of the USA. You know why the future looks so bright? Because I’m in it, son. I hope everyone is having a fantastic week so far– I know I am. For the first time, in quite a long time, I feel totally in  control of my life, my body, and my future. This post is going to contain some recipes, some discussion of balance, and maybe, if I have the courage, a picture of myself in the two piece I tried on. I don’t know if I’m ready to show the world yet, but if I am going to embrace body positivity and self-love, I need to do just that instead of promoting it for everyone else while secretly shaming myself in the dark hours of the night.

I am a firm believer that everyone has something they obsess over. For me, I’m pretty obsessed with large-sized Americanos, as pictured above. I have a pretty serious caffeine addiction, but to each their own. But really, for a lot of my friends, one of the commonalities is an obsession with Harry Potter. Some of them are obsessed with Star Wars or Vikings or Game of Thrones, or Dr. Who; some of them are obsessed with Ultimate Frisbee or Gaelic Football or yoga. But, the point is, most of the people I know are highly involved with SOMETHING in their lives, be it fictional characters or something tangible in their day to day reality. The problem sometimes with obsession, though, is it morphs from a fun way to let off steam or to connect with other people into a very demanding monster. Something I have always struggled with throughout my many years trying to become the healthiest version of myself is slipping on the steep slope of obsession.

After I turned 21, I gained a massive amount of weight. Suddenly, I could go to late night restaurants and have happy hour appetizers and beer. Suddenly, I could go to bars and without knowing what I really liked to drink at the time (because I was a big proponent of Heaven Hill Vodka and Natty Light), I tended to order sugary cocktails. I actually tried to go back through my Facebook to find pictures of me at this time, and they don’t exist. I have removed pictures from that point in my life because I was so very ashamed of myself. That summer, the summer of 2008, I started working out at least 90 minutes a day and was restricting myself to 1200-1400 calories and I was neurotic about it. If I went to a party with my friends and got drunk, I would cry in the bathroom about how I was going to get fat again. If I subsequently ate Taco Bell after a late night bender, the urge to throw up would present itself. I was miserable. I lost 40 pounds in 4 months, but I was eating shitty packaged, processed food. I was nervous constantly about eating the wrong thing. Instead of building a new lifestyle, I built a prison for myself– exercise was my punishment for transgressions and microwave meals were my salvation.

Now, 8 years later, I can safely say I think I’m making good lifestyle changes. I like the way my body  and brain feel when I’m feeding it good food and participating in regular exercise. But, this weekend,  I could feel the creep of obsession– the voice telling me that any mistake, no matter how small, would undo all of my hard work over the past 6 months. I ran a 5k on Friday night and on Saturday, I ate kimchi cold noodles, an ice cream cone, a club sandwich, had a green tea milkshake, and a glass of wine. Sunday, I ate a veggie quesadilla, a cheeseburger slider, some kettlechips, and a soy PB banana chocolate smoothie. On Sunday night, I thought about my food choices for hours– I went over every single item, internally berating myself for not making better choices throughout the weekend. Why did I need an ice cream cone AND a milkshake? Why did I eat kettlechips?

But, there is a valuable lesson to be learned here and that is the lesson of balance, which is something I’ve struggled with in many areas of my life– a balance of alone time and social time, a balance of nights in versus nights out, and most importantly, a balance of living a healthy life with room to have a slice of pizza or an ice cream cone. I’ve said before and I’ll say it again– I will never give up beer. I also love flour tortillas and sour cream. I love pizza. But, these things need a balance in my life between being active and eating apples for breakfast. I am not a perfect human being and I’m glad I’m not. This finding balance is one of the best things I’ve done in my life and I’m finding, the longer I think about it and work at it, the easier it’s becoming. It’s all starting to fall into place. I think this is what I’ve always wanted for myself. Balance.

This week, I’ve been experimenting in the world of food thanks to my recent order from iHerb.

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I have all of the protein now. Honestly, I was fiending for a peanut butter that wasn’t filled with a bunch of bullshit and a way to eat breakfast in the morning since I have a tendency to be quite lazy. So, this week, I’ve been making peanut butter banana protein shakes for my breakfast and it is turning out very well. I stay full for quite a bit of time, I feel like I have energy, and it only takes like, 10 seconds to make them, which is perfect for me.

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I’m definitely in the market for some better recipes, so if any of you have any protein shakes you love, please send them my way!

I also purchased a food processor this week and I am so excited about the potential opportunities this opens up in my the arena of food. I had a food processor a long time ago and I loved it– I made hummus and chickpea blondies and guacamole and all kinds of good stuff. This week, since I am trying to eat mostly low-carb/vegan/vegetarian throughout the week, I tried my hand at a tofu and cauliflower rice recipe and I have to say that I firmly believe it was one of my best meals I’ve ever made.

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I scored both of the recipes on Pinterest, of course. The Honey Sriracha tofu was so easy– you mix Sriracha, soy sauce, rice vinegar, and honey. You fry the tofu. You coat. Simple. The cauliflower fried rice was one of the easiest things I have ever made and it was so shockingly delicious. One of the next things I want to try is definitely cauliflower crust for pizzas. I’ll let you all know once I delve into that world of cooking. This meal was delicious, filling, and I felt capable of running about an hour after I ate it, which is amazing as I normally feel very demotivated if I eat dinner before a long run. But, this food made me feel awake and powerful, so I went out and conquered 3.6 miles, which is the longest distance I’ve run since June. Daegu heat is real and it is brutal, so I sweat like a damn champion, too.

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I am always so proud of my sweat. It’s visible evidence of hard work and of my body working for me. The only time I can deal without sweat is when I’m walking from my house to the bus in Daegu Summer, but that’s just part of living in the hottest city in Korea, I suppose.  This run was not easy toward the end, but the first half, I felt good. I felt steady. It’s moments like this when I need to realize that even when I feel like I haven’t been making progress, I have been. Every extra step is progress. Every time I run and don’t really feel like running is progress. Every time I make food at my house instead of going to a restaurant is progress. I am not defined by moments of weakness, I am not defined by an ice cream cone, and I sure as shit am not defined by the urge to quit when it feels too hard to keep going.

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In 6 months, I have grown more as a person than some people do in their whole lives and I fucking refuse to sabotage myself this time out of fear of my success. I am a fucking mountain– unmovable and unshakable. There will be times when I want to crumble. There will be times when I want to lay in my bed instead of exercise. There will be times when I am tempted to go back to the old ways of self-hate, but those things cannot win this time. I am not afraid of achieving this time. In the words of Eminem, “success is my only mother fucking option– failure’s not.” And it is. The time for complaints and regrets is over– it’s time to fucking grind it out and shine like a fuckin’ sunflower, y’all.

So, after pumping myself up, I’m feeling quite brave. On Saturday, a dear friend of mine presented me with a two piece bathing suit. Initially, I was horrified at the idea of me wearing a two piece– but my fat! but my rolls! but my stretch marks and cellulite and FUCK THAT, SON.

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So, I put it on. And I fuckin’ loved it. It felt wrong to love it– I’m supposed to hate my body. I’m supposed to hide it away and shame myself and starve myself. No. Not anymore. My body can run. My body can dance. My body can swim and climb and ride bikes and move. My body has nothing to be ashamed of. I have nothing to be ashamed of.

As a side note, I am now an an Eminem YouTube hole because of my “Lose Yourself” reference. I hope all of you are having a great week.

Stay Motivated, y’all.

3.15 Miles: The First Time in 8 Freaking Months

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i am a trainwreck

this morning, for the first time in over 8 months, i ran 3.1 miles. i ran a 5k for the first time in over half a year. my hip flexors hurt, my neck is sore for some reason, but mother fucker, i feel fucking awesome. let me talk to you all about something: running is 90% mental for me. my body, because i know it is capable, can carry me for extended periods of time and long distances. it may be slow, but i can continue to do it. the problem is i have this voice in my head, which i assume is the ultimate manifestation of every negative thought i have about myself, that tells me i cannot do it; i am too fat again to run like i used to run. a voice that tells me my legs are not strong enough, my lungs are not willing, and that i can be satisfied with half a mile or a mile. the problem is i know i will not be satisfied with a half a mile. i am only satisfied when i have pushed myself beyond my comfort zone. running a mile is not out of my comfort zone, but running 3 miles currently is very beyond my comfort zone. around 2.1 miles, i started having a conversation with myself which, in short, i should stop at 2.3 miles because it’s easier and i haven’t ran more than that in quite some time. this voice is the problem. today, i had an active battle with this voice. i challenged the hatred i have for my body, the doubt i have in my own ability, and i came out successful. i am a successful motherfucker.

it may have had a great deal to do with the fact i was playing a zombie game while running that kept me motivated, but whatever works, right? for the record, “zombies, run!” is a pretty fascinating way to get through a running workout. each run is an individual mission and as you run, you pick up supplies and run from zombies; the missions can be 30 minutes or an hour. after the mission is over, it switches to radio mode so you can keep running and collecting supplies. in each mission, there is a story-telling session, and then it breaks into personal music, and then back to story telling. it kept my run fun, interesting, and i felt like i was accomplishing shit because i was bringing my fake digital supplies to these fake digital people who are constantly fighting off hoards of fake digital zombies. you can even hear them breathe through your headphones. there is also an interval option where swarms of zombies come after you and you have to run faster to stay away from them. i’m not ready for that kind of bullshit yet, but it will come in handy for speed workouts. i got it on sale through the app store, but it’s normally 7.99. pretty rad, y’all, especially if you sometimes get bored the way i do. check it out. this was the first time i’ve used it, so it’ll be interesting to see how the story progresses. 

i’ve been having problems trying to get my alumni membership sorted out through EKU’s gym. they let me in for free today after i explained to them what was going on and they were super friendly. i’ll be back tuesday to get registered FOREAL and then take the hot yoga class that night. i’m also talking about running races with my sister, who, if you don’t know, is pretty fucking amazing. 

the only problem i am really facing now is paying for the races i want to run this year. the first race is “Color Me Rad” in March, then the 7 mile rookie “Run the Bluegrass” and ultimately, the “Flying Pig” half in May. it’s almost 200$ in races and while i have no problem paying for awesome races like the aforementioned races, i cannot actually afford that kind of money all at once. if anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. 

i ran 3.15 miles today. i stepped foot into a gym for the first time in months. i feel fucking radical. stay healthy, y’all. 

27 Hour Triathlon?

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general angst.

this is how i’ve felt for the past few days. i’m a generally angsty human being, as everyone probably knows, but i feel like it’s been worse. i don’t know if i can chalk it up to working retail around the holidays or if i just feel lost in my fitness journey again. i would say it’s probably a combined effort of a few of these annoyances that have made me feel this way.

i had a job interview at EKU on Friday, and for any of you who don’t know, i recently graduated from EKU with my MA in English and have been working at a bookstore since June. the professionals who interviewed me were very nice and asked me intensive questions, which i answered almost perfectly, i might add, but he kept repeating the same few phrases to me: “you’re overqualified” and “you’d be bored here.” now, don’t get me wrong, i know my Master’s degree is pretty rad and i am proud of myself for achieving such an accomplishment, but i am not used to hearing the words “overqualified.” in fact, i’m not used to being called back about a job, considering i’ve sent out applications to more than 200 places/positions and this interview was the first interview i’ve had since my interview, and subsequent hiring, at B&N. needless to say, the interview was almost a week ago, and i haven’t heard anything. i’m assuming i didn’t get the job, and honestly, i have made my peace with it. maybe this job interview was just to give me hope. i’ll find something eventually. until then, i suppose i will continue to shelve books and answer stupid questions for the time being. i’m fortunate to have such awesome coworkers, though. 

as far as my fitness goes, it seems like every time i get a good momentum, i let it go before it has fully solidified as a habit in my life again. i’ve decided that i really do need that gym membership at EKU; i will acquire one in January as i feel getting one in December is a waste of time as the operating hours are less than ideal for someone who does not still attend Eastern. plus, i’ll only have to pay 15 dollars for a parking pass. suckas! 

i’ve been looking at a plethora of races and have plenty of people who are willing to do said races with me. currently, i would like to participate in the Color Me Rad race in Lexington in March, the EKU Triathlon in April, and ultimately, the Flying Pig Half in May. these are all achievable goals and i love running races. it is the one time i don’t mind exercising with other human beings. well, that and yoga. i just need to pull the trigger and register for these races so they become tangible events in my life. if i know i have a race coming up, i am more willing to train for that race and run according to my runner’s world schedule. if i do not have a close goal, i find that it is easy to fizzle out and ignore the obligations to my body. 

i have also been looking into this: http://www.tri4freedom.com/27-hour.html. It is a 27 hour triathlon that can be split between teams of 10 for $200 a team. i calculated that if there is a team of 10, the longest anyone would have to run/bike would be 72 minutes, which is obviously an hour and 12 minutes and the longest anyone would have to swim would be 15 minutes. i am really interested in participating in something like this, especially since it supports human trafficking survivors in Lexington and raises awareness about human enslavement that still exists across the world. AND! if there were 10 people, the entrance fee would only be $20 per person. how exciting, y’all. but, seriously, i really want to do this. it’s 6 months away! 

i really just needed to write this blog entry to get my thoughts out, honestly. i go apeshit looking at all of these races and i really just need to remind myself that i am capable of running them because i have before! i’m a half-marathoner! i just need to put the effort back into it and push myself to make my running and eating healthily a habit once more. the good news is i’ve cut back on the amount of drinking i’ve been doing and the amount of smoking. one of these days, i’m going to kick my smoking habit for good. i’m just not ready yet. 

stay healthy, y’all. 

Homecoming Havoc: Good Friends, Laughter, and a Drunk 5k?

homecoming!

i’m not even going to talk about how much i hate sunday nights. this sunday night is much worse than others, though, because it is the end of Homecoming season for me. this has been a wonderful weekend for me, and even though this post will be full of a lot of “slip-ups,” i had some good realizations as well.

this weekend was EKU’s homecoming; in order to be as stereotypical and reflective of my alma mater, i stayed drunk all weekend. i am not lying when i say “i was drunk all weekend.” what you might be wondering is “Kara, you had a 5k on Saturday.” and what i will say to you friends is yes, i had a 5k, and i ran it drunk. now, before anyone judges me for my obvious error, let me explain why i did it and why i will never, ever do it again. Friday night is always an alumnae dinner for my sorority; it is also the beginning of the marathon of drinking that is homecoming. i believed myself to be strong and decided to go to the bar, but only have a couple of beers. a couple of beers could easily be flushed out with a copious amount of water. i was going to go home around 11 and get a good night’s sleep before running. i am not as strong as i think i am sometimes. instead of having two beers, i started pre-gaming with some sorority sisters. i haven’t pre-gamed in years. and if you are unfamiliar with pre-gaming, it is this:

drinking before we go drinking?

pre-gaming is ESSENTIAL on nights where bars will be extremely busy. i pre-gamed with Four Loko, beer, and then continued to drink (and do shots!) when i got to my favorite bar, the paddy wagon. i blacked out. there are parts of the evening that i legitimately do not remember. needless to say, i woke up at 8am, after getting home sometime after midnight, on Saturday feeling like an absolute pile of dog shit. i mean, it was really bad. i drank some water, ate a ridiculous amount of Bob Evan’s and just hoped that i would make it through this race. i thought about bailing out of it (and most people after seeing me on Friday thought so, too) but no. i put my running gear on, dealt with some dizziness, and made it to campus to pick up my race number and my t-shirt.

it was the roughest run of my life. i was still drunk, i ate a bunch of heavy food 2 hours before running it, and i was so tired. but, i had done it to myself and i was going to prove to myself that i could do anything. working out is such a mental battle, and i won that battle.

thank you, Maelyn, for taking this picture! and yay, Kati Emo and Christine!

i kept running. i listened to my music and just kept myself pumped up. my pace wasn’t bad, actually, but the way i felt was so awful. i dealt with an intense side stitch for the first mile and a half; i had to take water in the middle of it. it was ridiculous. but i finished and finished proudly with two beautiful women.

yay, running!

i would have been so angry with myself if i had quit. protip: don’t run homecoming 5ks drunk. i even ate an orange! but, i felt like i was going to puke for at least an hour afterward. good thing i know how to keep myself together.

i got to see so many wonderful people this weekend.

pretty little theta, j.gapp. 
erikaaaa, the bulgarian babe.
k-ho. we run this shit.

 

the beautiful, inspiring andi. this girl is radical and awesome.

and a slew of other people with whom i do not have pictures or have not put pictures up on Facebook for me to stalk. this weekend was amazing for so many reasons, but the laughter was the best part of it all. i smiled and laughed all weekend long, even at myself when i woke up and realized what i had done.

saturday was spent tailgating. we won. i had my first experience being ID’d by an EKU Police Officer. it was interesting and slightly traumatic for me. that was one of my greatest fears as an underage drinker. now being arrested in a parking lot has replaced that fear. saturday night, i went to a party with a flask and a 2 liter of sprite zero. i’m not even mad. today, i had the most wonderful pleasure of going to Raychell & Andy’s baby shower for their little girl, Lucy, who i am excited and anxious to meet! it was another great afternoon celebrating with good friends who i do not always get to see as often as i would like. and, it was a gorgeous day. hell, it was a gorgeous weekend. even the weather wanted to celebrate our good moods. it was much appreciated, sun. anyway, as i said earlier, i came to some major realizations over the weekend.

realization number 1: regardless of how much i drank this weekend or how shitty my eating habits were, tomorrow i am going to wake up and continue forward in my weight loss battle. the “old” Kara would have just given up, but i am so motivated by the kind words of my friends this weekend that to give up would be preposterous and outrageous (plus i have another 5k this weekend; i can’t quit). i have come so far and i recognize the strength in myself. no part of me even considered giving this up because i feel SO good.  i am still moving forward, even if i felt like i was going backward this weekend.

realization 2: i have to be realistic about my goals and the way my life is structured. i like to pretend i am some sort of powerhouse of…well… power that doesn’t want to drink anymore, but that’s not really who i am. i enjoy having some drinks with friends, and i do believe i’ve stated it before, but i’ll state it again, i kind of dig being drunk. this doesn’t mean i want to be drunk every day or that i even want to drink every day, but i am allowed to live my life the way i want to live my life and if that means that some weekends i throw caution to the wind and get hammered with some friends, then so fucking be it. i am an adult and i make my decisions for myself. i have to be realistic. i am not perfect.

realization 3: i did not bail on that 5k. i can honestly say from the bottom of my heart that had that happened this time last year, hell, or even over the summer, i would have bailed. i would have quit and the EKU Fitness and Wellness center could have just kept my money and my t-shirt. but, i didn’t bail. i got out of bed, accepted that the run would suck, and did it anyway. i still got to have fun with everyone else after it was over, and i remembered how important this run was to ME. i had something to prove to myself and i proved it.

realization 4: my friends are unbelievably kind. and i still know how to drink like a freshman. there’s even a video of me doing a shot out of a flask.

well, friends, that was my weekend. i apologize for the length of this post, but i just felt like i had so much to say. EKU Homecoming 2011 was a great success! i hope you all had a fabulous weekend. stay healthy, y’all.

13 Days to Halloween: A Jade Yoga Mat, Struggles, and My Second 5K

rain be damned. today is a good day.

happy wednesday, everyone! although it is a rainy, grim mess outside, i hope your spirits are high in anticipation of the weekend! i am for sure excited because this weekend is HOMECOMING and Raychell’s Baby Shower! so many exciting events, so little time. i am really stoked about seeing long lost friends, catching up, and of course, doing my EKU alum duty and tailgating. i hope the weather, though, is more cheerful than it is right now.

this week has been a week of ups and downs for the Heavy Hipster. last week, my weigh-in was less than desired, and while i still have to commend myself of the positive changes i have been making in my life, to see the number shift so little is incredibly frustrating. i know that my body is still adjusting to all of the new and exciting activities i am doing and i am running the potential of plateauing, but that does not make it easier to stomach. i was even more disappointed because i had DONE SO MUCH outdoors and had been so active. but, this week, i fully plan on taking my measurements with my weigh-in. i know i am shrinking– i just need to see the numbers to validate that thought. fortunately, though, that was my one true down this week; my ups have vastly outnumbered the negatives!

last weekend, i was really struggling with the idea of running. the last time i had run, i was tired, my legs felt heavy, and i wasn’t really into it. but, on saturday morning, i got myself out of bed and met Katie and Leslie to get some miles in. there was no set number of miles; there was only the desire to run as close to an hour as we could and sure as shit, we did it. i ran a little over 5 miles that afternoon, and with the help of those two awesome ladies, my faith in my running was restored. i even took a picture of my crazy sweat!

giggity!

my arms are both soaked and you can see the body sweat. i do not care if you think it is disgusting. i am in love with my sweat these days. sweat is the sign of hard work and endurance– i’m determined to have both of those.

the same day, some friends and i took a trip to Keeneland to bet on some ponies and drink some beer. after the 5 mile run, i felt a lot better about enjoying my day at the race track. i bought a really pretty black pencil skirt from the Gap earlier and a cute sweater so i decided to… you know… tuck the sweater into the skirt and see how it looked on me. i have always been so evnvious of that style, but i was always so big i could never pull it off. i rocked it on Saturday, and i have to say that Micah and myself looked like total hotties

Keeneland!

this weekend, i also played on some swings

and i ate at the Acres of Land Winery. it was wonderful.

acres of land!

a kentucky autumn is more beautiful than anything in the entire world. seriously, how gorgeous is this?

this week has been much better. i’ve been awoken by this sweet puppy over and over again

and felt pretty damn awesome while looking into a mirror

and, showed how serious i was about yoga when i bought my very own JADE mat!!!

beautiful mats with mellie

i needed the yoga class we had last night. after last week’s class and the feelings of failure i encountered, it was awesome to hold every pose as long as Andi wanted us to, and i felt accomplished and strong. the mind is stronger than the body. remember that.

tonight, for dinner, i made Tofu Tikka Masala! the tofu was marinated in fat free greek yogurt, a generous portion of spices, and some lemon juice. the tofu was then placed in a sauce of fat free half and half, tomato sauce, and jalepeno and garlic. deliciousness.

and some naan, which i made myself and it was really good!

and in the process of this, i got to use the KitchenAid mixer my friend Aleshia gave me!

HOW COOL IS THIS?!

i am in love with it. my food was good, my day has been good, despite the rain, and i am feeling on top of my goals. tonight is the first cast meeting of the Vagina Monologues, and i am super excited to meet all of the people in it and get this ball rolling. i am equally excited about my second 5k that i will be running this saturday for homecoming. while i am a bit bummed i will not be getting drunk with everyone on Friday night, i must fulfill this goal i set for myself. running this 5k means a lot to me and is a sign of how far i have come since the last homecoming. i have been training on this course for a couple of months now– i know the inclines, i know the rough patches, and i know where i will struggle the most. tomorrow, i’ll be jogging a couple of miles, but i want my legs to be rested and ready to go. i would like to set a new PR, but just running it is enough for me at this point. if you’re at the EKU homecoming parade downtown, cheer me on when i run by. it would make me incredibly happy. next weekend, i’ll be running my 3rd 5k in Frankfort, the Black Cat Chase. i’ll be discussing that more, though, as time progresses.

life feels good today and i cannot help but be so thankful for days where i feel in control of myself. i know that i will just keep getting better and that’s all i can hope for, really. i hope wednesday has been pleasant for you. stay healthy, y’all.

The Nutritionist & Bonnaroo: Bringing Happiness into My Life!

Friday!!!!!

happy friday, y’all! i don’t know about you guys, but i am ready to get down on a three day weekend like no other! there are so many fun things happening this weekend i cannot even CONTAIN my excitement. this weekend, i get to go to a bachelorette party, i get to hang out with my family, and generally enjoy a 3 day weekend. my little brother turned 21 yesterday, which is crazy for me to think about. it’s even crazier to think i will be 24 in a mere 3 1/2 weeks. June 19th will be here before i know it. you know what else will be here before i know it? BONNAROO. four full days of music, camping, and… well… acting like a fool in front of thousands of people i will never see again! two weeks from today, i will be on that glorious farm, enjoying Sharon Von Etten, who is really good. then Ben Sollee, Justin Townes Earle, Grace Potter and the Nocturnals, the Decemberists, Ray LaMontagne, Florence + The Machine, My Morning Jacket, Arcade Fire, The Black Angels, Lil’ Wayne, and Ratatat and that is just FRIDAY. plus, it’s going to be great exercise because the only mode of transportation is WALKING, unless you take one of their silly fucking cabs that costs 5 dollars to run you to a location. i would rather spend my five dolla’ on cool stuff at the festival rather than being lazy. and, they have yoga every single morning, so if i’m up early enough, i plan on moseying over there and possibly gettin’ my down dog on. on top of all that, i will be drinking bookoos and bookoos of water to stay hydrated and i’ll be eating food i personally brought. not only is it a fun experience, but it’s a great way to get my workout on without considering it a workout. then, you can add in all the fucking dancing and swaying i’ll be doing (in true hippie fashion) so i’ll be constantly working my muscles. man, i love Bonnaroo.

i’ve been super consistent with working out this week. i started going back on sunday and went every single day until Thursday and today. tuesday, after work, i even went to my yoga class, which was wonderful in every way imaginable. the coolest thing about yoga, for me, is noticing how much my body has changed and how much stronger i am. the downward facing dog position, one of the most basic positions in yoga, used to kick my ass. but now, i can hold it for longer periods of time without shaking or releasing the pose. my next goal to start working on is the plank position, which requires incredible control of not only your arm muscles, but of your core muscles as well. to keep myself motivated for the next week and to prepare for Bonnaroo, i am pretty sure i am registering for this

5k!

it’s a 5k race that will benefit Madison Central’s Marching Band and because my brother was a faithful member all four years of high school, and it has brought an insurmountable amount of joy to my parents, i figured this would be a good first 5k. i haven’t been training for it; i haven’t even thought about running a 5k until right now. all i want to do is finish under 40 minutes and if i can do that, well, i’ll be happy. hell, i’ll go ahead and say 45 minutes. if i can finish between 40-45 minutes on my first 5k, i will be pleased with myself.

i saw my nutritionist on Thursday and we discussed a lot of my progress. she is very pleased with the smaller changes i have been making and after i told her i was disappointed in such a small weight loss in 5 months (13 pounds right now) she got a model of fat out for me

5 POUNDS OF FAT?!

this, my dear friends, is 5 pounds of fat. this is what 5 pounds of fat looks like, which means i have lost almost 3 times that amount from different areas of my body. more importantly, i’ve lost fat which may have been pressing on my internal organs. this really put a lot of aspects of this journey into perspective. this is HUGE and as long as i keep moving forward, my success will happen.

i was going to write about the food i’ve made this week, but i think i’ll save it for a new post, simply because this one has gotten a bit too long already. but, i made Buffalo Chik’n Fajitas and Vegan peanut butter chocolate brownies and all of it was delicious, but the chik’n sat in the hot sauce too long. at least it cleared up our sinuses after we ate it!

one last picture. i took this today looking at myself in the mirror just to give myself a frame of reference for how my body looks right now

i think this may just be a flattering picture, but after looking at this, i can definitely see changes in some parts of my body, which gives me motivation to just keep going. i’m waking up in 7 hours to go run with a group of people at 7:30 in the morning and i’m really excited about this new area of support in my life. have a great weekend and stay healthy, y’all!